Why do comments make me angry?

Comments cause a desire to defend, to prove oneself right. That is why comments with explanations and examples, without getting personal, are considered a good editorial tone. If only the author doesn`t take the comments as an attack on their personality.

So, what behavior can be considered good form for the author if the comments hurt?

To endure and, gritting your teeth, write kind answers?

Thus, health can be lost. Holding back emotions doesn`t lead to good things. I believe that we shouldn`t bury the problem, but figure out why these emotions arise.

Why did I think about it?

I am an ordinary person, and sometimes comments cause me emotions. I get angry and want to prove myself right, but then I hold back and feel bad.

However recently I asked my husband to look at my post for a personal project. And he smashed my post to smithereens, found there unsuccessful messages and all sorts of clichés that will not work for the audience. The entire document is in his comments (and he is not an editor at all). What am I?

I reacted calmly and even with great gratitude. I realized that I really missed a lot. And I was surprised by it.

I was suddenly pierced by the thought that I usually reacted this way to the comments of those from whom I didn`t feel any danger or something. And the comments of those people with whom everything wasn`t easy in a relationship evoked the opposite feeling.

It turns out that the whole point of a negative attitude is that I see attacks on me in certain comments. Why I see it is another question.

A bad relationship with the editor or being a subordinate is unpleasant or something else — there can be many reasons, but they are not in the comments. Editing is not evil, evil is buried deeper.

Are you very angry? You need to understand why you think that these edits are not from good intentions.

If you hear derogatory notes in the comments, it is better to go to a conversation with the editor. A normal editor should react normally, and realize that he went too far. Silence is not an aid. One day there will be such an explosion in such a relationship that you will be ashamed of yourself.

In my practice, there was a case when the author came to me with such a conversation. He honestly said that he was offended by this and that. We had a talk, noted each other’s strengths, and even joked, but decided not to work together on text anymore. At the same time, we continued to communicate well within the company. And that’s okay.

People don’t always agree on work, and it’s best to be honest about it. Sometimes it is not necessary to disagree, you can find a solution.

If the editor comments politely and with explanations, but the anger still grows, then it’s your perception — something from past experience is associated with these moments. Maybe in childhood, you were often criticized by your parents, who did not accept you, and now it is vital to prove that you are good everywhere and in everything.

I understand this. You can try to help yourself with affirmations.
Before watching the text with comments, repeat it to yourself 10–20 times

“The editor does not wish me harm, he/she corrects my text to help. We do a common job, we have one goal.”

Better yet, work with a psychologist. The main thing is not to throw all the blame on the editor, so we don`t help ourselves, but only turn a blind eye to the problem.